Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Bad Email Correspondent

I am one of the world's worst email correspondents. Even when I was on the computer all day for my job, I rarely sent personal emails. It is not that I don't care for people, I do. I enjoy hearing from them. The question is why don't I do it? Fear of rejection? Laziness? Or is it on the list of things that I like to do and therefore do not allow myself to do. I know that it is twisted, but I know that I am not always happy when I am doing things that I like doing. I feel guilty, or maybe that I don't deserve it. I talked to a Psychologist about it once. She said that my comfort zone is not being happy, because I got used to it as a child. She said that you have to just do the things and get past the feeling, and in time you get used to being happy. (Note: Starting a blog is one of the things that I have wanted to do for a long time.)

In person I am very warm and friendly, but I hold myself back from making contact. I guess, like everyone else, I am afraid of getting hurt. This probably explains why I have lived in a new town for 15 months and have really no new friends.

I don't know where this is going, but I just wanted to say it.

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