Post Christmas Regrets

Yes, I have not been here for a while. I am still reading other people's blogs, but I have not been posting. Sometimes I think about posting, but...

 So, I agreed to have a Xmas bash on the 27th for my family. In addition to dinner for 14, I had 4 people sleep over that night and then 2 stayed a second night. My 84 year old Mother with Alzheimer's was the most helpful person. A few helped get the meal on the table, but after dinner I was on we were on our own. Now, I did refuse my Mother's help in front of the others, but no one did more than 5 minutes of clean up. I cleaned my kitchen for over 2 hours with my husband while my family partied on. I had to clean up, I had 8 people to feed breakfast in the morning. After I had been cleaning for an hour, one of my sisters sauntered in and told me "We are tired and are going to bed. See you in the morning." My other sister came into the kitchen and talked to me for 20 minutes while I cleaned. She said "I am waiting for the others to be done in the bathroom".

 I feel like, well like, I slept with them and they did not respect me in the morning.

 To top if off, the sister who stayed over 2 nights was a bitch to my mother. I know that Alzheimer's is frustrating, but she is my mother and I don't like hearing someone talk to her like that. She was impatient and rude with her. My Mother is is sweet and gentle lady. I am mad at myself for not being more direct with her when she did it. It was just kind of shocking. My sister does have some rather severe health issues of her own, but I will NEVER have them both to stay again. I will not have that repeated in my house.

Maybe I am off the mark? Would you expect family that was staying in your home to help you clean up? Maybe I would have refused the help, but I would have liked if someone had offered.

 All I know is, when someone suggests this next year, I will have other plans.

I don't want to play with my kids!

Okay, that is not entirely accurate. I do play with my kids, but there is a part of me that cannot stand it. It hurts. I set timers so that I can get through it. I enjoy it, but it is almost like I am going to get punished if I don't stop. It is a relief when it is over. It is better when we are doing something that is educational or if the kids are not having too much fun. I have no idea why. I know that my mother and father did not play with me, especially when I was younger. I played with my siblings. I did chores with my Dad to spend time with him. There was a feeling of being tolerated. I don't want to be like this! Does anyone else feel this way? I also have a hard time tuning in when they want me. I am slightly hard of hearing. I don't want to be interrupted when I am concentrating on something. But, I hate it when the kids show the same behaviour to me. I know this is part of why my youngest misbehaves. He can feel my indifference. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. I am warm and loving with them, just please don't ask me to play.