Soccer

Okay, my 5 year old is in soccer. He was at a game and there was a boy on the opposing team that was very overweight. He was running around and playing like the rest of the kids. I found my eyes on him. He was probably 30 pounds overweight. His legs were easily twice the size of any other kid. He was 2 kids thick. So LB was on the field playing and then he came off and we were sitting together. I noticed that the Mother of the heavy boy and the heavy boy were making their way over to where we were sitting.

The Mother confronted us. It seems that LB told the heavy boy that he was fat, twice. The heavy boys Mother said something like "We are all friends playing soccer and you upset my son. You made him cry by calling him fat. I want you to apologize." LB admitted that he called the boy "fat" and I made him apologize. It was awkward to say the least.

Afterwards, it left me with the oddest feeling. I mean, personal comments are not nice. It is something that kids do and need to learn not to do, but... he was fat. I mean really fat. Their whole family was fat.

I don't know what else I could have done. I watched the boy myself because he was really really fat. I don't know if it is possible for the Mother to stop enough kids from calling him fat to save his feelings. He is fat. Not mentioning it won't change it.

I know that his weight was none of my business. What would you have done?

My DH is away right now on business. I miss him. I have this song stuck in my head.




The problem with being happily married is that it sucks when they are away and my DH has been travelling on business about 50% of the time in the last year.

Donating

I called the Social Worker about donating my unused embryos this week. We had last talked about a year ago and I think that I blew her circuits. She was very happy about being part of this process.

This is just a start. We will need to figure out how to do an open embryo adoption. I have no idea what that will mean. We will have to feel our way through it.

We are going to get together in the fall and talk about what we want and how to go about it.

The Social Worker had some couples in mind last time that we talked. This will be fodder for some new postings.

Gum Day

I have a new innovation that I want to share with you. It is called "Gum Day". Gum Day is Friday and it goes like this.

Your chores have to be done and your bed made.
You are then given your own pack of gum. You choose from one of the packs that is available and you cannot change your mind after it is opened.
You are free to have a gum chewing frenzy or chew moderately over several days.
You are not given a new pack of gum before the next Gum Day no matter what happens to the gum.
If you leave wrappers lying around your next gum day moves by a day.
If you steal gum from others then you skip the next gum day.

It has helped my youngest learn when is the next Friday. It is an easy life lesson without real consequences. My kids love having their own gum and I love not being in charge of giving out gum.

Birthday thoughts

Tomorrow is LB's birthday. Tonight the boys are in bed and the house is quiet. My DH is away on business.

I was talking to the mother of twins today. We are at the same daycare. The twins birthday is this month too. She mentioned in passing that there had been another, who didn't survive the 3 months too early birth. It ripped me wide open. I told her that I was sorry for her loss. I told her about mine. She suggested that we get together for coffee some time. I wondered whether I could do it without crying.

Tonight I am missing the unknown ones. The ones that didn't make it. The one's that didn't get to stay. I am crying as I write this. I don't even know if they were boys or girls. I never gave them names. I think that I hoped that would lessen the grief. You know the mantra. "Don't think about it. Don't talk about it. Focus on the good. Move on."

The grief just surprised me. There is so much happiness in my life. Somehow I thought that I had let that go.

Where ever you are my babies, Mummy misses you.

Today

Today the trees where throwing their farewell party and I was the guest of honour. I walked the dog and it was just a perfect moment. The air was cool but I was warm in my coat. The colours and freshness was inspiring. I was there and it was good.

The Telling

Okay, so we have reviewed the advice and we are wondering how are we going to do it. We decide the DH should do the first telling. He was much less freaked about the whole thing. The waiting was making me nervous. I told my DH that we had to find a natural opportunity in the next month or make our own opportunity. I was finding the waiting stressful.

Okay, so here is how it happened. LB and I were in the kitchen at the table. BB and DH were in the living room. Like a bolt out of the blue LB says to me "Did babies come from IKEA". I look at him. I realize that this is it! The moment of truth! I call Mike in from the next room. Did you hear what LB just asked? I repeated it and Mike launched into "The Telling".

"Babies come from a seed from the daddy and an egg from the mummy, but mummy's eggs didn't work so we got an egg from a nice lady. Do you have any questions?"

Both boys look at us, with this "Huh?" look on their face. Nope, no questions. LB looks at me and then says. "I meant my baby bunny". I answer, "Uh, the bunny, yes he came from IKEA".

...

Since that fateful day. We have repeated it a few times with very little reaction. LB asked again today how babies were made. I told him again. I mentioned that I had a book, would he like to see it. He said no.

The whole thing has been sort of non-event-ish. Other than my huge stress reaction. I did not realize how I had been carrying it around with me. It has been great to let go of it. The worry that I was going to be rejected has been lifted.

I am so lucky that I got to have a family.

I really liked letting go of that fear. I would like to get rid of the rest of my fears now too.