Friday, October 19, 2007

Letting things go

In our journey through life things happen. Some are good and some are definitely not. I have been working on my stuff; mainly so I don't pass it on to my kids. Like so many others, unfortunately, I was a victim of child sexual abuse. It didn't happen often and luckily the worst did not happen, but I was scarred by it. This might be a good place to stop reading.

It was an evil man that we will call "Uncle K". He was not a blood relative not that it matters, and yes he was my uncle. As an adult I have found out that I was not the only one that he touched. I am not sure how old that I was. I know that I could not have been more that 8. He touched my bre@sts and put his hands inside my clothing. One time I remember him putting his hands down my p@nts. I was struggling to get away and another child opening the door and then I escaped.

So much pain came my way because of this man. He is the reason why I never attend the family reunions. He is the reason I am so afraid for my sons.

I don't know how to let go of this. I want to. My problem is that I am afraid that he is still out there preying on children. He has children and grandchildren. Do they know? His wife looks like she has swallowed a bitter pill. Does she know?

I know that he is still evil because he groped me at my fathers funeral 2 years ago.

I don't know where to go from here. I wish that he would die.


Joy said...

That sucks. I've been through it too.

DD said...

Is this something you would be able to bring up to your cousins or siblings to see if they had similar experiences? It could help you all to discuss it.

I agree that you should not feel attend family reunions if you know he is going to be there, and you shouldn't be embarrassed to say so, but I have never been in your shoes.

I hope you know that what happened, whether you were 8 or just a couple years ago is not your fault. Your uncle is to blame 100% and no one could argue with your wish to see him dead.