Dreaming

The other night I dreamt that I was in labour. I think that I was at my mother's house, that part is not too clear. I was spending a lot of time squatting against the wall. Sometimes you wonder where this stuff comes from. The people around me were showing only mild concern. I was doing my natural childbirth stuff and it wasn't too intense yet, but I was trying to get someone interested in helping me. I wonder what it meant?

I am clear that I am never going to get pregnant again. I hope that you don't find me insensitive but, I am happy that it is never going to happen again. I know that it won't happen accidentally. HAH! I was sick, sick and then sick again when I was pregnant. I cannot imagine doing it again. Now, I have toyed with the idea of adding to our family through adoption. Right now is not a good time. DH is working like a dog these days. He works way too hard week after week. It is really aging him, but we are stuck until the fall when his 2 years is up. Also, in Canada they will not do a free homestudy while you have a child who is less than 2 years old. Why? I have no idea. We could pay for one ourselves, but we need to get past the 2 year mark first. I just keep feeling like I would like a girl too. I know that it is not rational. I have a great family. I feel very lucky, but like so many, I still feel like there is an empty spot.