My IVF Past

I look at the detailed summaries that others post of their IVF cycles with awe. I have trouble even remembering how many times we tried. I am pretty sure that we tried 3 times before we did two successful DE cycles. I know we did all the usual tests, took the drugs and here we are now, but I could not give you a coherent description of it. I guess that it was the stress. I know that it was a nightmare of stress and worry. I know that it put my marriage under huge stress and luckily for us we came through it together, stronger and more in love. The first IVF was horrible and we were like two people drifting along in a fog. During the second IVF we had a huge fight. DH forgot to come home to give me a shot. He met an old friend and went out for a drink. (This was in the days before cell phones.) On his way home he remembered and came home horribly upset. He totally freaked out and so did I. When I saw him cry, I realized that he really loved me. He was in over his head too. From that point on we worked together on all of it. It made our marriage.

The needles are the thing that I remember most about our treatments. Since I am a visual learner, I tried not to watch or even see the needles. My DH humoured me in this fantasy that not watching would make it easier. I did relaxation breathing and tried hard to be calm for my needles. It didn't always work. Much to my later embarrassment, my DH practically had to hold me down one time. Luckily he has about 100 pounds on me. I took a lot of needles. I turned out to need a lot of estrogen, so no patches for me, just shots. I also continued the IVF drugs for the full three months. After a while I was numb from all the shots. It took months to get the feeling back. I also needed the Lovenox twice a day for my APC resistance (blood clotting disorder). I calculated once and I have taken over 1000 needles of Lovenox alone plus about 400 in IVF drugs.

It was worth it, but it is okay if I never do that again.